We have so far successfully done the potty training thing three time, and luckily now have at least a year to go before we have to even think about tackling this issue with baby Elliot.
Let me share a couple of stories with you:
Our oldest was very keen to train and was heading towards being completely free of the daytime nappy at about 22 months. I was more than happy for him to get on with it, so out came the pants and the potty. One fine day we headed into Homebase to buy some household essential. It was clearly important as I could not even guess as what we actually went in there to buy.
Anyway we were rushing in and out so had only the clothes on our backs and the shoes on our feet with us. Half way around Aidan announced that he needed a poo, so we made that insane parent beeline for the nearest loo. You know the kind where you would mow down old ladies and other small children just to get to your goal.
Just a short way from the loo fate decided to have a laugh. Not only did he poop, but it promptly escaped from his pants and shorts and dropped with a big splat into a giant dog poo stylie straight onto the floor.
You may not believe this but hid daddy actually legged it and left me and Aidan in the following position. Aidan poo smeared and a little confused about what was going on, me slightly shocked and very unsure about what the heck to do next, and between us a giant steaming pile of little boy poop.
I am sure that not many of you have ever had to stand guard over a poo in a large store, but as people don't expect to be dodging poo you actually have to stand over it to avoid anyone stepping in it.
I stood there for a long time in the vain hope that daddy would reappear with help, but sadly this was not to be. Then I got fed up, and had to make a dash for it. Poor little Aidan was ordered to stand guard over the poo while I made a mad dash to the loo to grab some toilet roll.
I did my best to clean up with the loo roll, so apologies to the poor cleaner that must have later that day had to deal with the remainder. Then I took Aidan rugby ball style to the loo to deal with him. Daddy was not in my good books for a very long time after this one.
Most of you that have been to the Eden project will have memories of pretty flowers and a gorgeous location, not us. At the time of our visit Aidan had pretty much won on the potty training thing, but we had a fold down potty always to hand in case he got caught short, these are the greatest invention ever and I highly recommend them to any parent.
In one of the domes Aidan announced that he was desperate for a wee, so having no nearby options he quickly did his business in a corner and that job was efficiently dispatched.
Turning around we found that toddler Aidan had decided that the potty would make a great necklace. This seemed a strange choice of attire, but we were not to upset by his creative. Until we realised that he must have forced the plastic seat over his head with some effort, and the only way to remove it would be to pull his ears off at the same time.
Panic stations and daddy decided to take him off to the loo to attempt to remove his head from the potty seat. I still don't know how he did it, but 15 minutes later back they came with a portable potty in one hand and a happy Aidan in the other. http://www.preciouslittleone.com/product-information/67/4302/potette-plus---greenblue/?gclid=CLTX_N2lvrQCFaTMtAodcmAAdw . This is a great product for pooping and weeing in, but not such a great one to use as a fashion assessor.
This time we were in Pets at Home looking at the fish. Aidan was in the very early stages of training, and I think the water must have triggered the need to wee. The next thing I know he has produced a nice puddle at his feet ( clearly not house trained, maybe I should have seen in they had a housetraining book in stock). Being a very bad parent I noticed that there was water already on the floor alongside wet floor signs and a general look of wetness in the fish tank area. So following my not so nice side I quickly ushered him out of the shop an left the puddle for some poor unsuspecting employee to deal with. Bad bad bad me.
Final one for tonight. Cat was probably about 3 and I had picked her up from preschool, we then headed to the school so we could wait to get her brother. She was a big fan at the time of attempting to wee in public places. I think she thinks that as her name is Cat she needs to live up to the title and behave like an actual Cat. So any opportunity she could get she would drop her pants and wee merrily on the grass, pavement, car wheel or the gutter.
She decided that she was going to wet herself if she couldn't wee, so I opted for the easy life opened the car doors and hung her over the gutter. Lets just say that she did not wee.
Nope instead she produced the biggest poo you can imagine, plop straight down into the gutter. I was a little shocked to have an unexpected visitor sitting staring at me from the gutter. However there was no way I could leave it right outside the school. The only option was to bag it up in a dog poo bag ( or two), and to then chuck the bag into the car boot until after pick up.
This was not a cold winters day, it was a swelteringly hot high Summers day, so I will let you imagine the smell that greeted us when we finally got back to the car with her brother, gross.
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