However I think it should be way more complicated than that:
Requirement number 1 - A hatred of sleep.
not just a hatred of sleep, but some kind of super power that enables you to live on about 4 hours of sleep every year. In the last 10 years since becoming a mummy I must have had next to no whole nights of sleep. We get one kid sorted and then the next has some issue, ill health or general desire to wake me up in the middle of the night, and that's not even counting the sleepless nights due to pregnancy and all the gross and painful symptoms that come with it.
Requirement number 2 - A liking for cold, reheated or generally pre sucked food.
I love that my kids like their food, but could they not just leave my plate alone, or at least give me a few seconds to actually eat before screaming and requiring my attention.
Requirement number 3 - A desire to look (and smell) like a person who has never washed either themselves or their clothes.
Starting with baby sick, the progressing nicely to mashed ( but very colourful) food, and then on to paint or any type of messy play items. These items do not look good in your hair, on your skin or covering your clothes, and especially not down your back when you have no idea that it is there.
Requirement number 4 - A liking of constantly being judged or told what to do.
I think parenting is one of the only areas of life where the world and his wife feel that they have the right to tut at you or generally send completely unrequested advice your way. You have to have a pretty thick skin to be a parent.
Requirement number 5 - A wish to spend hours doing minor tasks, that prior to children took mere minutes.
Once upon a time it took 5 minutes to go to the shop, this now takes several hours, many bribes, lots of screaming, and the equivalent effort that it would take to climb Everest.
No comments:
Post a Comment