Anyway several years ago I was working for the Children's centres and we headed off to a day out kicked off by a talk from the Head of the department. I am sure he will forgive me that I don't recall his name or his actual job title.
I sat down expecting to be half asleep and to only have to provide rounds of polite applause. Instead what he said made so much sense to me and explained so much. Why do some kids do well in life, while other sink like a stone? What protects some kids from the toll that life takes upon them, while others are destroyed by very similar events?
Resilience is the answer, there are set things in life that make children better able to cope with life, and to then turn into adults who are better able to cope.
Many of these resilience factors are obvious eg good parent income, however there are also factors within the child eg not being impulsive. Its the bringing together of these factors that give a child that backup and the ability to cope with stress and changes in their life.
I have taken this from an American website, as it explains the basic idea so much better than I can:
Dr. Ginsburg summarizes what we know for sure about the development of resilience in kids by the following:
- Children need to know that there is an adult in their life who believes in them and loves them unconditionally.
- Kids will live “up” or “down” to our expectations.
It is very true that its so much easier to take a leap when someone is there to catch you if you fall.
So I guess the point I am trying to make is that I can not imagine having no one in life to rely on, this must be a very scary position to start out from.
Its obvious that all kids need someone that provides their cornerstone, so they can then take those leaps into the world.
Its obvious that all kids need someone that provides their cornerstone, so they can then take those leaps into the world.
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