Poo part 3, yes there is more, sorry - top 10 poo mysteries

Some poo mysteries:

How is it possible that my children can produce poo that is actually bigger than they are, is there some kind of Dr Who tardis thing going on in there intestines?

Why is it that babies know that they are having nappy off time and promptly decide to deposit a large pile of stool directly onto the floor?

How is it possible that babies time their nappy explosions for the exact second that you are in a rush and trying to get out of the house, leaving that dilemma of be late and change, or pretend you haven't noticed for 10 minutes and ignore other peoples noses wrinkling as they get a whiff when you walk by?

Who thought it was a good idea to design people with their butts on the back, making it impossible for children to wipe properly, so you can be guaranteed plenty of skid mark teeny pants?

Is it worse to have a boy, and to have to fish for poo around their boy bits, or is a girl worse and the futile attempts to keep the poo away from their lady bits when cleaning them up?

Who decided that leaking up the back is a fair thing when they have a runny bum, you clean them up, you get excited that their clothes are clean, then on closer inspection you find the mass leakage heading up towards their neck?

Is potty training not hard enough with wee to deal with, how cruel is it to add poo to this huge challenge, for crying out loud, why?

If you have ever had a toddler that goes through a poo smearing stage, ( we have been through this once and never again please please please I beg), this is beyond gross. Imagine finding poo on the walls, floor, curtains, bedding and liberally coated on the toddler. Why the hell do toddlers sometimes think its fun to play with poo, surely the smell alone should put them off?

Not exactly poo, but how can children fart and make stenches that would kill a horse, surely this bubbling inside their little tummies should make them actually explode?

Not a person poo one, but why do kids make a beeline and seem to walk straight through any cow poo or dog poo left on the ground?